Limbo Sucks!

Gah! I hate waiting! I feel like I have lived the past 5 years waiting in 2 week cycles. Waiting to ovulate and then waiting to test or for AF. I have let so much in my life pass me by because I might be pregnant and I have been obsessing over symptoms or doing everything I can to get pregnant.

I have been worrying about what if IVF doesn't work. When I think I about it, I can't even breathe. I am getting so tired of it all I just don't know what I would do if it didn't work. DH says egg donor but it's easy for him to say. I'd even rather just transfer an embryo but DH wants our baby to have at least one of our genes. It would be easier to get an embryo than an egg in this country too. You have to know the person to donate for you and I don't think I could do it. I get so jealous sometimes about other women's pregnancies how would I ever feel about some person I know and DH making the baby I could not? I don't know. See, this is what happens when you sit around and wait...you obsess about things that aren't prevalent at the time. :-(